Executive Functioning: The Skills Behind Success (And How to Support Them)

Have you ever wondered why your child can solve a tricky math problem but forgets their homework at school? Or why they can talk about big goals but struggle to get started on a simple task? These everyday challenges may have more to do with executive functioning skills than intelligence or motivation. Executive functioning is like the brain’s management system—it helps us plan, stay organized, control impulses, and shift gears when needed. And while these skills are crucial for school success (and life in general), they don’t develop at the same pace for every child.

What Is Executive Functioning?

Executive functioning refers to a set of mental skills that include:

• Working memory: Holding and using information in your mind (like remembering directions)

• Inhibitory control: Thinking before acting and managing impulses

• Cognitive flexibility: Adjusting to new rules or shifting between tasks

• Planning and organization: Setting goals, creating steps, and staying on track

• Initiation: Getting started on a task without excessive prompting

• Emotional regulation: Managing frustration, disappointment, or overstimulation

These skills are housed in the brain’s prefrontal cortex, which continues developing into early adulthood. So it’s no surprise that many kids—especially those with ADHD or learning differences—struggle in this area.

Signs of Executive Functioning Difficulties

Children with executive functioning challenges might:

• Forget or lose things often (lunchbox, homework, shoes…)

• Struggle to follow multi-step directions

• Have messy backpacks or workspaces

• Become easily frustrated with transitions or unexpected changes

• Procrastinate, even on things they enjoy

• Appear disorganized or “lazy” (though they are often trying very hard!)

Understanding that these behaviors are skills-based challenges, not character flaws, can shift the conversation from blame to support.

How Parents Can Help

The good news? Executive functioning can improve with support and practice. Here are some ways to help build these skills at home:

• Create consistent routines: Predictable schedules reduce mental load.

• Use visual aids: Checklists, calendars, and timers can support memory and time management.

• Break tasks into steps: “Clean your room” becomes “Put away clothes → Make bed → Throw away trash.”

• Model and talk through your thinking: “I’m writing this on the calendar so I don’t forget.”

• Praise the process: Acknowledge effort, strategy, and progress—not just results.

• Offer support without over-accommodating: Think “scaffolding” rather than doing it for them.

You can also collaborate with teachers to create supports in the classroom, such as flexible deadlines, frequent reminders, or executive functioning coaching.

When to Seek Additional Support

If your child’s difficulties significantly impact their learning, relationships, or confidence, it may be helpful to pursue a psychoeducational evaluation. This can clarify whether challenges stem from executive functioning, attention disorders, or learning differences—and provide tailored recommendations.